The Secret to Lasting Marriage

A lot of people have all kinds of advice on "lasting marriages." Dr. Phil and all those dillweeds have lots of things to tell you about what you should be doing to keep a good marriage going. Or repair a bad one.

Whatever, dude.

Here's my advice, which I can confidently give after ten years of real-world marriage experience and zero psychotherapy and psycho-babble classes on the subject:

Be stubborn.

That's it. Stubbornness saves marriages. I'm convinced.

Look, I'll explain.

I have red hair. I'm extremely stubborn. Bull headed, hard as a mule, dumb as an ox, whatever you want to call it. I. Do. Not. Budge. Easily.

Therefore, we've stayed together. I won't go away, I refuse to be convinced we should split up, and I rarely even consider the possibility that we aren't "right for each other."

None of that clap-trap about "communication" and "keeping it real" is involved here. Just the fact that I will not give up. That's it.

Sure, we yell once in a while. Get angry sometimes. Call each other names occasionally. We're civilized (mostly), though, so we don't beat on, throw stuff, or otherwise abuse each other. No midnight stabbings or drunken fisticuffs happens here. We do have a row once in a while.

I've got news for Dr. Phil: that's fucking normal. People who live together, sharing finances, food, problems, dysfunctional families, etc. will fight. Welcome to the real world.

The question is how do we fight and do we make up for it afterward?

See? I suppose some psychologist will quack about how fighting is a form of communication and whatever. Ya, sure, pal. Fine.

The point is the fighting doesn't end the relationship. Why? Because we're too friggin bullheaded to let that happen.

Some people might call that hard-headed stubbornness "love." That's as good a word as any.


--Read more coherent stuff from Aaron by visiting his main blog at Aaron's EnvironMental Corner - where the environment is looked at mentally. Or something like that. Or just Twitter: Tweet Me