Painkiller

This video is of Judas Priest playing the most killer song they've ever made. Painkiller


Not only do I wish I could play guitar like this, but I want Halford's jacket. Of course, at first glance I think I could beat him down and take it. But he's not only got tattoos on his head.. his HEAD.. but he's also a 4-octave wonder. Plus, he's probably got old man strength. I'd probably go down like a little wuss.

Oh well. I can still dream of cool jackets like this. I also like the one that he wears on the concert tour for Nostradamus. Too bad that title song sucks. It would be awesome if his lyrics didn't sound like some kind of lame-ass high school pep club chant. The music is almost as kickass as the music for this song is.

But I digress. Mostly I just wanted to talk about how I could kick Rob Halford's ass. Instead, I just made a jackass of myself since not only can't I beat him down, I can't even talk about their shit without sounding like some prep school critic.

Oh well. At least I found an excuse to post this really, really cool video.

--Read more coherent stuff from Aaron by visiting his main blog at Aaron's EnvironMental Corner - where the environment is looked at mentally. Or something like that. Or just Twitter: Tweet Me

Know What I Hate?

I hate people who hate things. That's what I hate.


--Read more coherent stuff from Aaron by visiting his main blog at Aaron's EnvironMental Corner - where the environment is looked at mentally. Or something like that. Or just Twitter: Tweet Me

Top 10 Favorite Bands of All Time

These are my top ten favorite bands (or musicians) of all time, in my current order of preference. The order (and sometimes who's on it) changes often, though the top 3 or 4 tend to stay in their preference spot for the most part.

1. Tool - specifically their album Lateralus, but pretty much everything this band has ever recorded is awesome. Every time I read something new in philosophy or symbolism, I find Tool has already covered it in one of their songs and I just hadn't realized it.

2. Metallica - overall, their body of work is extremely impressive and it's hard not to get stuck on most of their songs. The lyrics are deep, but not so deep you have to read books to understand them. Some of their albums suck, but everything up to (and including) the Black album is great and some of their latest stuff rocks.

3. System of a Down - I nearly made these guys second, but their total body of work is not as deep as Metallica's and while they're extremely innovative, I'm glad they went on a hiatus for a while as they were getting a little same-ol' there.

4. John Denver - ya, call me cheesy, but I love the stuff this guy recorded. My first real "album" was an 8-track of John Denver's greatest hits. Some of his songs, even though I've heard them hundreds of times, still make me cry. I know, I'm a wuss. But hey, my wife's a hot chick and they dig sensitivity, so FU. :)

5. AC/DC - I haven't met an AC/DC song I didn't like. While their lyrics and music is generally pretty shallow, it's hard to ignore them and even harder not to like them. Everything is catchy, everything is awesome, and their music just seems to keep getting better with age.

6. Pantera - consistently badass, these guys recorded some of the greatest music ever played. This band had more talent per person than most bands have in their entirety. Phil has an awesome vocal range that he never gets credit for, Dimebag was one of the greatest guitarists of our time, Vinny is for sure one of the best drum beaters ever, and Rex can pick bass strings around the best of them.

7. Megadeth - some great tunes, but I find myself listening to only 2 or 3 on each album and generally skipping the rest. They would have ranked higher had they been more consistent.

8. Rage Against the Machine - sometimes a little too socialist for me, these guys were always hard core anti-government types. One of the few thrash bands I ever really liked and definitely awesome, no matter what album you're looking at.

9. Cruachan - a Celtic band from Ireland, these guys (and girl) weave awesome Celtic music and heavy metal to make a great sound. I really like this band, especially their newer stuff, and have been following them for a while. Awesome.

10. The Isosceles Project - extremely new band, but one of the best bands of today I've ever heard. They promise to only get better and better. Musical geniuses wouldn't be exaggerating with these guys. When they've matured and put out more stuff, they'll definitely rise up my list.



--Read more coherent stuff from Aaron by visiting his main blog at Aaron's EnvironMental Corner - where the environment is looked at mentally. Or something like that. Or just Twitter: Tweet Me

Ode to Twitter

O, fowl Twitter,
Destroyer of my time
Ruiner of management
The reason I am behind.

O, gracious Twitter,
Responsible for a whole
One point eight percent
My site traffic total.

O, deadly Twitter,
Evil pillar of waste
Stripping my attention
Causing me to make haste.

O, wonderful Twitter,
Bringer of great distraction
To cause my mind to leap
At every promised satisfaction.

I hate you, Dear Twitter
But love you just the same.
So I will be turning off
Pop notices - them I'll blame.



--Read more coherent stuff from Aaron by visiting his main blog at Aaron's EnvironMental Corner - where the environment is looked at mentally. Or something like that. Or just Twitter: Tweet Me

Open Letter to Congress

The following is an open letter to the U.S. Congress, both the House of Representatives and the Senate.

Dear Congress,

Leave me the fuck alone.

Sincerely,

Aaron Turpen
Pine Bluffs, Wyoming, USA

--Read more coherent stuff from Aaron by visiting his main blog at Aaron's EnvironMental Corner - where the environment is looked at mentally. Or something like that. Or just Twitter: Tweet Me

How To Get a Biazillion MF GD Blip.fm Listeners and Be FN Famous!

Alright, this is for all you Blip.fm users who're getting frustrated because you have been blipping for months and have only 8 listeners. Even DJs on the AM dial have more listeners than that, you pathetic loser.

So let me explain to you how to make the big roll-in of listeners happen. Quick, easy, and FREE. You don't have to be a marketing genius or musical savant to make this happen either. You just need to not suck.

For some of you, that's going to be difficult.

Step-by-Step Plan to Becoming a Blip.fm Star

Step 1 - Know Your Audience. If you blip a lot of lame-ass music, you're going to have a lame-ass audience.

For instance, if you blip a lot of Tori Amos, you're probably going to limit yourself to listeners like that 80 year old lady down the street and that fat girl with braces in Canada who is pining after the captain of her school's hockey team.

In other words, your audience is lame because your music is lame.

Pick better music, chump.

Step 2 - Find a popular blipper who plays your kind of music (the good kind, not Tori Amos) and become one of their listeners. Then start re-blipping everything they blip.

This accomplishes two things: first, it lets you see who the good blippers are and second, it means you don't have to try to guess for yourself whether your music choices are really all that good.

You've already failed at that with Tori Amos, so your track record is not good.

Step 3 - Make Fun of That DJ. Once you've spent a few days getting to know this famous, highly-followed DJ and have been building a good song list from that DJ's blips, it's time to propel yourself to stardom.

Write a blog post, like this one, making fun of that blipper and then send it to them (via a blip). They're sure to take offense and send it out to their listeners list, who'll all click on your blip ID and blog post.

FREE TRAFFIC!

Amazingly, while this step seems like it would backfire, it doesn't. I've done it and my listener's list increased by 250,000% in only one day.

Step 4 - Repeat steps 2-4. Just keep doing this stuff on a weekly or bi-weekly basis and watch your listener count soar!

There you go, now even losers can get big time DJ props on Blip.fm and have listener groupies clamoring to be mentioned in their next blip!

Oh, and keep your Tori Amos fetish a secret. Otherwise, you'll ruin everything. Lamer.

--Read more coherent stuff from Aaron by visiting his main blog at Aaron's EnvironMental Corner - where the environment is looked at mentally. Or something like that. Or just Twitter: Tweet Me

Hyphenated American

I've decided that in order to culturally fit in with today's America, I need to be hyphenated.

No, that's not some bizarre freak body modification or piercing.

It's what you do when you go from being an "American" to being a something-American.

This is the sign that you're special part of an elite club of Americans who're oppressed, unappreciated, or somehow unique. Usually for having a certain skin color, for something your great-great-great-great-great grandparents suffered through, or because you don't like America in general and want to dissociate yourself from it.

I'm not sure which of those categories I fall into, so I'm going to have to analyze the situation.

Caucasian-American
The problem here is that too many publik skewl graduates will spell that wrong. Next thing you know, I'm in porno flicks. My wife would not approve of that. Lame.

Scots-American
Alternatively, so it wouldn't get confused with paper towels, I could use "Scottish-American" instead. Sounds great, but it doesn't convey enough for me. It's just not unique enough.

Heathen-American
This would mix my religious heritage with my nationality. That might actually work. There's precedents. The Jewish-Americans and Muslim-Americans have done it. Why not me? Ad this to the short list of possibilities.

White-American
This would definitely get me called a racist. If I said I was any other color, nobody would care. But white? Sorry, pal. Discriminatory. As if the people who use that word even know what it means. Pesky publik skewl again.

NonFrench-American
In the early 2000s, this would have been popular I think. Now? Feh. Doesn't really say anything.

Genius-American
I'm inclined to go with this one, but there are some problems. It's somewhat pretentious; not that this has ever stopped me. Too many dillweeds would see it as being an "oxy moron" though. That's almost as lame as being banned from porno.

Free-American
Seems kind of redundant, but people who are really free are a rare and dying breed in this country. I might go with this one too. Another short list candidate.

Hmm...I'm running out of ideas. There's got to be the perfect match out there somewhere, though. What do you think?

--Read more coherent stuff from Aaron by visiting his main blog at Aaron's EnvironMental Corner - where the environment is looked at mentally. Or something like that. Or just Twitter: Tweet Me

Website Popularity

I'm wondering.. if my dog had his own website, do you think it would become more popular than mine?

--Read more coherent stuff from Aaron by visiting his main blog at Aaron's EnvironMental Corner - where the environment is looked at mentally. Or something like that. Or just Twitter: Tweet Me

The World's Greatest Danger

It's occurred to me that the greatest danger in the world are people with IQs in the 90-110 range. Why?

Because they're always convinced that they're smarter than they are, but they rarely have the wherewithal to realize that what they're saying, doing, promoting, or working for is utter stupidity.

They're always convinced that they're the most intelligent person in the room. If it's too obvious that they aren't, they make sure to spend all of their efforts attacking (in some way) the person they perceive as being smarter than they.

These are the people who read the comics and the sports page and consider themselves "informed." These are the dolts who make Rush Limbaugh, Sean Hannity, Al Gore and Hillary Clinton rich people.

These are the dingbats who buy books just because Oprah said it's a "good one."

Yep, the most dangerous people in the world are the pathetically average who are too stupid to realize that they are pathetically average.


--Read more coherent stuff from Aaron by visiting his main blog at Aaron's EnvironMental Corner - where the environment is looked at mentally. Or something like that. Or just Twitter: Tweet Me

Political Dating

If leftists suck and rightists blow...I should date a moderate...


--Read more coherent stuff from Aaron by visiting his main blog at Aaron's EnvironMental Corner - where the environment is looked at mentally. Or something like that. Or just Twitter: Tweet Me

Obama's Birth Certificate in Movies

I hear they're doing a new Mission Impossible where Cruise saves Obama's birth certificate from the Scientologists.

--Read more coherent stuff from Aaron by visiting his main blog at Aaron's EnvironMental Corner - where the environment is looked at mentally. Or something like that. Or just Twitter: Tweet Me

Next Week's Political News (via Twitter)

Next week in the news: The #RNC will accuse the #DNC of being statists and the DNC will retort calling the RNC fascists. #irony


--Read more coherent stuff from Aaron by visiting his main blog at Aaron's EnvironMental Corner - where the environment is looked at mentally. Or something like that. Or just Twitter: Tweet Me

Interpreting the Cat's Behavior

The cat is rubbing on my legs. This can have two translations:
1) "I love you, pathetic human."
2) "The food bowl is empty. You have 30 seconds to begin filling it before the peeing on stuff commences."

--Read more coherent stuff from Aaron by visiting his main blog at Aaron's EnvironMental Corner - where the environment is looked at mentally. Or something like that. Or just Twitter: Tweet Me

Blip.fm and Big Hair

I have become a blip.fm junkie. I have discovered lots of great, new music there (see my reviews blog, Militant Reviews) and generally use it for nearly all of my music listening now. Since I'm sitting in front of this computer (or near it) nearly all day everyday, it's the way I connect to music now. I still throw in the occasional CD or load up the MP3 player, of course, but not nearly as often as I used to.

Sadly, the sound system on my computer is better than the one in my pickup. Which is down to one speaker, a broken tape deck, and an antenna that tends to slide in the wind. But enough about my killer ride, back to the music.

I listen to some hard music most of the time. The big names are bands like Slayer, System of a Down (OK, not hard, but loony), Pantera, and so forth. I also like old-school headbangers like Mozart.

Now, here's a little insight into the blip.fm metal culture: Thursdays is "#BigHairThursday" (the hash tag is a Twitter thing). On that day, those DJs I follow are occasionally throwing out big hair bands from the 70s and 80s. You know, the ones you used to make fun of in Jr. High because the lamers listening to them hadn't discovered Metallica yet.

I'm fine with the Big Hair Thursday and I even like a handful of the bands or songs that get blipped, but sometimes it's just too much. Someone on my DJ list, I'll call him @Metal_fn_Rocks to hide his identity, blips bands like WASP.

WASP, dude. WASP. Do I even need to explain further?

OK, I will. WASP doesn't stand for "We Are Satan's People" or "White Anglo-Saxon Person" like you may have been lead to believe. WASP stands for "What A Shitty Punkassbandfullofgaymorons." Don't agree with me? Well, this band is why you don't have a girlfriend, pal. Wake up.

Here's who likes WASP: gay guys who think Rob Halford is too "hardcore," women over age 40, and left handed clowns from Jersey. That's it. Women like WASP, but they are innately suspicious of any man who does. That's why they don't like you.

When WASP is blipped, I usually respond (in a Big Hair Thursday way) with Twisted Sister's "Burn in Hell." Along with comments like "#BigHairThursday WASP? Dude, WASP? You suck. You can just..."

I find this to be quite vindicating. Plus, I'm participating in #BigHairThursday like a good little metal blipper. I get revenge AND participate in the community. This is why my t-shirt says "Genius" on it.


Here's a quick tutorial on using blip.fm to find great tunes:
*Sign up for an account (duh)
*Start searching for bands you like in the search bar and blip their tunes.
*When you do that, other blippers who've also blipped those bands appear at the top of your screen. Click on those people. If their last few blips match stuff you like, click the "follow" button. If not, go to the next person.

That's about it. The rest is extraneous (giving props and so forth). You'll learn that on your own. I'm being followed by like 300 people right now, but I'm only following about 40. Why? Because I don't follow people back automatically, I only follow the ones who fairly consistently blip good music.

For instance, I was following some chick from South America. She blipped great stuff for like two days straight. Then all of the sudden her period came on and she started blipping The Cure and Depeche Commode and other whining Europeans from the 80s.

So I dumped her.

I know, doing that while she's menstruating is kind of rude, but hey, she's in South America. I'm not the governor of South Carolina, so I don't have to publicly apologize for being a dick.

So that's the run-down on my blip.fm usage and why I find a cool new band to review over at Militant Reviews once in a while.



--Read more coherent stuff from Aaron by visiting his main blog at Aaron's EnvironMental Corner - where the environment is looked at mentally. Or something like that. Or just Twitter: Tweet Me