Alright, this is for all you Blip.fm users who're getting frustrated because you have been blipping for months and have only 8 listeners. Even DJs on the AM dial have more listeners than that, you pathetic loser.
So let me explain to you how to make the big roll-in of listeners happen. Quick, easy, and FREE. You don't have to be a marketing genius or musical savant to make this happen either. You just need to not suck.
For some of you, that's going to be difficult.
Step-by-Step Plan to Becoming a Blip.fm Star
Step 1 - Know Your Audience. If you blip a lot of lame-ass music, you're going to have a lame-ass audience.
For instance, if you blip a lot of Tori Amos, you're probably going to limit yourself to listeners like that 80 year old lady down the street and that fat girl with braces in Canada who is pining after the captain of her school's hockey team.
In other words, your audience is lame because your music is lame.
Pick better music, chump.
Step 2 - Find a popular blipper who plays your kind of music (the good kind, not Tori Amos) and become one of their listeners. Then start re-blipping everything they blip.
This accomplishes two things: first, it lets you see who the good blippers are and second, it means you don't have to try to guess for yourself whether your music choices are really all that good.
You've already failed at that with Tori Amos, so your track record is not good.
Step 3 - Make Fun of That DJ. Once you've spent a few days getting to know this famous, highly-followed DJ and have been building a good song list from that DJ's blips, it's time to propel yourself to stardom.
Write a blog post, like this one, making fun of that blipper and then send it to them (via a blip). They're sure to take offense and send it out to their listeners list, who'll all click on your blip ID and blog post.
FREE TRAFFIC!
Amazingly, while this step seems like it would backfire, it doesn't. I've done it and my listener's list increased by 250,000% in only one day.
Step 4 - Repeat steps 2-4. Just keep doing this stuff on a weekly or bi-weekly basis and watch your listener count soar!
There you go, now even losers can get big time DJ props on Blip.fm and have listener groupies clamoring to be mentioned in their next blip!
Oh, and keep your Tori Amos fetish a secret. Otherwise, you'll ruin everything. Lamer.
--Read more coherent stuff from Aaron by visiting his main blog at Aaron's EnvironMental Corner - where the environment is looked at mentally. Or something like that. Or just Twitter: Tweet Me
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